Beat it, Just Beat it - Wine not War

the drums are beating again.  it agonizes me to here them, a pounding in my head.  soon the saber rattling will begin, a shaking of my nerves.  once more our country is pushing towards war.  why?  we are told, as we are always told, that war is for a good reason but is it? ...is it ever good to go to war.

they told us once that like dominoes, if we don't fight this war here and now, bad people would take over the world.  another time we were told that bad people had invaded a little country and now innocent people, many of them children were being killed.  we had to fight a war for their well being.  another time a man, a bad man, was causing harm around the world from his fortress built inside a cave.  only invade a country and begin a war would bring that man to justice.  more recently they told us a bad man had gathered dangerous weapons.  we had to start a war with him to prevent his from using those weapon.  in summation these stories sound funny but at the time the treats seemed real.  in truth each has been proven to be a half truths at best but for the most part a blatant lie.

now we are being told that syria, a member of the axis of evil, is using chemical weapons on it's rebellious people.  our government is telling us we must supply arms to this civil war so the rebels can fight back.  once our supplies flow in it becomes only a matter of time that we send more support.  Meanwhile, our claims of the use of illegal weapons is being doubted.  in the past i'd shake my fist and proclaim "how dare they doubt the USofA we're here to make the world a better place."  a beckon on a hill, a guiding light of democracy the ideals of our founding fathers.

putting the paper down i do not shake my fist, rather i pick up a glass of wine, sipping it i hold my head.  so many lies, cost so many lives.  we know this but still the beat goes on.  the saber rattling, the beating of the drum,  the call goes out once more.  we are on the brink of war

Turn out the Lights & Light a Candle

you gotta get the candles just perfect if you're trying to set the mood.  light, is a powerful thing in our world.  it's one of the little things that we forget, light.  right there in front of our face, we take it for granted and fail to understand how it effects our day.

i try to remind myself of these things, the little details, things illuminated by the light.  i take a walk in the sun.  i put on music, light candles and meditate.  i build a bonfire and watch life gather.  light, once lit, every time renews the promise of something new to see.  if you know how to see details.

often hidden, you find them if you look in dark places.  places you tend to overlook because life moves so fast.  we take some much for granted. walking the well worn paths of life, who really needs light.  turn 'em off, I can sleepwalk this shit.  And many do.  "we can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark.  the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light."  we need to open out eyes, be aware

it takes a balance.  bathed in too much light it all washes out.  shadow can give contrast, definintion, a quieter space for contemplating all that is going on in the light.  dark, shadow, light, all convey a different mood in the same space.  thus i return to candles.  get them just perfect, they illuminate me to new thinking.  smiling, i enjoy the light.

I bet My Parents could kickthereass - Strongest Couple

Trophies aside "The Strongest Couple You'll Ever Meet" is a bold statement.  say something like that and you better understand the words you are invoking or in this world of hype that we've created has everything lost meaning.


I intend to live a long time, like wine I'd argue i've been getting better with age.  but you should ask around, I've made a lot of friends over the years.  And i'll make many more.  those that know me would likely agree, i'm finally gaining wisdom.  with that base of friends (and growing) one would think that following the laws of six degrees I could meet quite a few strong couples over the years.  especially if i put my mind to it.  so Ever is a pretty out there statement, don't you think.

Strongest is really gets to me too.  on who's terms.  the Olympic games were created to get to the bottom of that, and look amount of events it takes to quantify strongest.  In my opinion the decathlon is the best event but that's beside the point.  the point is strength can be measured in so many ways.

I look at heart. thus the meaning of Couple is an important word when we consider heart.  cuz who can think of heart and not consider love.  Love of what your doing, love of who you're with, Love, who's got heart.

I believe in the strength of this couple.  to help each other create such celebrated bodies demonstrates a commitment to a partner.  furthermore, I can only imagine the feats of strength that may go on in the bed room.  however, the flesh, the body, this is such a trivial way to measure a coupling.  endurance, an ability to adapt while remaining together, a willingness to push past the inevitable obstacles of life, commitment to a bond,  this is the strength i look for in a strong coupling.  I'm just saying "strongest" coupled with "ever" is over hyped with little true meaning.   

People let's put meaning back into our lives. 

Mexican Daze - Modelo

cerveza not wine is today's drink of choice.  it is hot out, and this is the mexican desert so i drink beer and my choice is modelo. 

a dog friend and i are sitting at the waters edge.  we're not really on beach but it more a small cove that fisherman use to launch their boats.  it is soft sand, warm to the touch.  i'm sitting on the sand, leaning up again one of the fishing boats, relaxing, writing.  the dog and i are working on polishing off a six pack of beer and a bag of chips.  he's a stray and i'm a foreigner.  both considered outsider in this land, we've found eachother, in that we've found happiness.

starring out at the water it is a vibrant blue green.  so rich in color that it almost looks fake, only the fact that i am actually here makes me know this color is real.  my friend seems to be studying it too.  I wonder what goes through a dogs head as he takes in our shared ocean view;  i'm thinking about work.  two days from now i'll be back home, back to work, back to drinking wine in my temperate climate.  I give the my friend a few more chips and a sip of beer to wash it down.  patting his head i go back to staring out across the water toward the horizon.

we are on our second to last modelo, the bag of ships mostly crumbs.  taking another swig of beer, i rub my buddies back.  relaxed he lays his head down.  i lean deeper again the boat (at least i attempt to) as i relax as well.  tonight i'll enjoy fish tacos, my dog friend i'm sure has a hustle in mind, such is the life of a stray.  could i survive here i wonder.  as if to reassure me the dog licks at my hand.  i pour him the rest of the beer.

the sun is beginning to hang low.  my dog and i have one last beer to share.

Write Wrong Drink Right

"you write it for me!"  i've taken a stern tone with the freshly opened bottle of wine.  looking at it crossly, i'm not paying attention to the label.  it's a red, perhaps a cab or maybe a merlot.  at second sip it's likely that affordable cab/merlot i grabbed off the shelf a few weeks back.  "for the price i'm sure it's drinkable", i thought out loud.  if it blows me away i can always note the label later.

weeks removed from that harmless purchase, i'm now talking with the once ignored bottle.  in truth the exchange of words is more the soliloquy of a desperate writer who lost his voice.  so I talk with a bottle, "you wirte it for me." i repeat.

inspiration has left me. my muse gone, i search for her in the most cliche places.  in a bottle (one must wonder) how drunk of me to look for a genie in a bottle.  my words are best when they resonate with the divine, no trite genie.  I should get down with a goddess.  Pondering the thought of get'n down, i enjoy the rest of the nameless cab/merlot.

after the bottle it's back to work.  this life doesn't write itself

Don't Cut It Out - Love It Out

i'm sitting in the barber's chair getting my hair cut.  outside the window i see him, the last man to threaten my life.  he did it on a few occasions but never scared my.  instead i felt sorry for him, such a small way to live.  fearful.

"go ahead shot me."  i recall the words leaving my lips.  an AR15 pointed at the back of my head.  i didn't need to turn around, i knew he wouldn't pull the trigger.  i believe he's smarter than that; not much but smart enough to know spilling my brains all over his kitchen in front of his wife and daughters would be a mess he couldn't easily cleanup.  violence solves nothing.

i've always joked that conflict between men is always about a girl, sadly so true.  in this case it was about his daughter.  his last words to me were if i ever spoke to her again he'd hurt me in ways that would likely put him in jail.  unblemished, i enjoy the feel of a straight razor against my skin, a clean shave.  he, the threatener is unjailed walking the street just outside the window.  i see him, he acts like i doesn't see me but we did, see each other for an awkward moment.  i wonder if his heart skipped a beat, if his blood began to boil, if he regrets his words, if he even knows his daughter spoke to me two day back.

he's not going to kill me, much less even touch me.  yet i'm left feels sadness.  raised by fear, anger and threats i can't help but feel for his daughter's inability to find and hold onto love.   touched by love, i care for his daughter, i hope she finds what she wants in life.  we both know it aint me.

returning to his truck with a burger to go, he passes the window once more avoiding a glance in my direction.  this cut coming to an end the barber asks, "so how does it feel?"  running my fingers threw my hair i reply, "love it"  

be calm again - yoga

i came back to work and it looked like i was on vacation, i was a mess.  I needed to relax, again.

i'd been to serious was the story i heard.  no longer full time fun i was serious guy at the party.  try this wine i'd say in my head but out of my mouth spewed the boardom of vintage and date, not to mention the aroma of it all, it all just silly opition.  i'd stopped living the joy from the taste of life.  my story got in the way of flow, i lost my muse so i got sloppy.  I made the mistake of getting serious rather than finding balance.  it got edgy for a while the taste of it, life.  and friends helped me talk it out and calm down.  we skied.

at night we'd drink wine, sometimes beer maybe whiskey.  it didn't matter we were in MONTANA not utah, not vail, not in that state called wyoming.  we skied at big sky, i'll remember it as a sunny resort, it recharged my batteries, i returned with a glow.  i was unbeatable again but i didn't care to win, not today.  leave it a mess write a post call it work, clean the room maybe or just go to bed.  i need to relax  drink some wine.

i need yoga

Don't Rush, Drink It All In - Then Enjoy

my mother says to me, "don't rush it."
she reminds me, "there's plenty of time."

mothers opinions coming from love, she just wants the best for me.  she gets sad when I'm sad, she wants to kiss any owie and make it better.  she knows it doesn't changes things but still she is always willing to share a hug.  my mother has always just wanted me to explore and find happiness.  i'm lucky to have such a great mother.  she knows me well

i do rush.  when I want something i can be impatient with time.  i tend to forget their is plenty in the world, especially if you go a little slower and pay attention to all the blessings.  i like to get after it, charge toward me goal and take what i believe to be mine.  it makes me feel like and man yet most times i'm such a boy. 

time still for plenty of growing in my life.  i know what i want, the seeds are planted and my intentions are true, good, honest.  with the warmth of love those seeds will surely grow.  a worthy wine takes time, it can't be rushed, even after it is poured into the glass it is best to pause and appreciate it before slugging it down.  see, swirl, sip, enjoy...

i'm listening mom

What's Your Buzz, Text Me

hard lives we tend to leave.  each of us has places to be so how is it that we ever meet. it is brief moments that bring us together.  just shoot me a text.

i'm drinking red wine fierce tonight, with reckless abandon we polish off another bottle.  she is not with me so i let her know, i'm thinking of you, i wish you were here, i need less wine in my glass (although if i must drink the house red aint bad).  "drunk last night, drunk the night before, feeling drunk again what is the way to your door?"

three smiley faces is the reply text.  upon receiving it I smile.

connected in thought now, i'm excited.  reality, i'm drunk and don't know the way to here door.  the wine is slowing my thought.  i look for a good place to settle down, slumber.  I think of her text to me ...smile smile smile.  drifting off to sleep it's true, my life isn't hard.  to see you just have to find me in the moment

Why Love, What Love, Share with Me

"what do i know of love" she asks...  what words just left my mouth, i need to think.  one moment i was enjoy the buzz of a beautiful wine and the next a question hangs heavy about a seriousness i'm not prepared to consider at this moment.  drunk on rosa regale i'm in no mood for seriousness.  I take another drink but as I lower my glass i see she still looks at me quizzically.  this is serious.  i'm not going to think about why the question was ask, i'm going to go with the flow.  from head to mouth the thoughts of my heart pour out.

i know little of love but i know i've felt it.  Love is wonderful, magical and it hurts.  I've been broken by love.  left for dead, eventually i got back up looking for more, helped to my feet by the love of others.  the feeling of love is to great to ignore.  the beauty of love is that it's a gift to be shared.  love alone is not love at all, love that is shared moves mountains.

in love i feel three times larger and yet i don't know why.  love drives me to do things and i am able to do them because love fuels me.  away from my love i'm free to experience the world yet nothing is as enjoyable as my love so i always return.  life is lonely without love.  i know so little about love in fact that i tend to smother my lover, wanting so much to be with love I stifle the life in love.  you gotta let love grow, love needs space so it can get bigger.  i love love and fear love, love scares me but that is Love

at least that is what i know, because i felt it.
 

Love the Love - Let's Get Bubbly

standing in the wine isle i start to think.  i grab three wine bottles then finish my shopping, i'm now in action there's no time to think anymore.  she's been all in my head.  why deny it, she knows.  I know.  she's right and it's not to much to ask.  one day to feel special, one day above them all, one day to rule them, all done with love.

I'm not big fan of valentine's day.  maybe it's been the pressure, since i was a just a child we are driven to have a mate.  maybe it's been a fear of feeling heart broken, maybe it's because i hate to be forced, maybe it's I preferred to remind my partner that everyday you're special.  whatever it is, I used my dislike of v-day to not share the love.

Love is to be shared. love is to be felt.  who am I do deny love when that is all she is asking for.  she is asking for a day to be loved so why not fulfill that request and make her feel special. not with gifts, things or false mementos, nothing at all is needed more than what it takes to reminder her she is special.  getting my mind in the right space i'm ready to reconnect with the romance of the day.  bottle in hand, tomorrow we'll pop the cork and feel bubbly about the day. 

Drink It Down, Let's Sleep

"it's not a secret but i'll tell you anyway.  i prefer to sleep at the girls house rather then take her to my bedroom."  these are the words that come from my mouth as i pour more wine in her glass.  the noise of the juice escaping the bottle comes as a sshhhhhh.  news of my secret grabs this guest attention.

having already finished one bottle, we start consuming another.  she had suggested we take this bottle to the bedroom.  filling her glass i describe why this wine will be best enjoyed here, in the front room near the heater.  I'm a transient, at times I appear homeless. truth is i like to stay on the move.  it is hard for me to settle down.  content now, time huddled by a warm heater feels right.  

the most comfortable bed i sleep in these days is a room at my parents house, yet i continue to sleep all over.  the farm, the safe house, the cabin at pirate's cove, the spot in the city, the boat, a tent, in my puffy coat under the stars.  I'm no bum but i've even been known to sleep in my car.  all these beds i rarely share.  yes, it's been known to happen, not tonight.  although it is tempting, she is beautiful

we finish the second bottle.  cherry and current flavors mingle with a strawberry finish, like a kiss.  a sweet end to the evening.  getting her settled by the heater, I build a nest of blankets and pillows.  stroking her back, lights out, she drifts to sleep.  I retire to my bed.  my little secret continues, i sleep alone

Straight At It - We Get After Living

in my opinion the only way to live life is knowing how to slide down hill.  for me it is straight forward, i don't understand why people like to do it sideways.  I ski, some snowboard, it doesn't matter as long as you know how to get down the mountain.

...understanding how to get to the top is a different matter.  most of us start with getting a lift.  when  a helicopter drops you off it is easy to feel like a champion.  i know that's how i felt the first time i got off the highest chair at my home mountain, like a champ.

give me the steepest path in life, push me to find balance, dare my to go straight. i'm not afraid of going down, descending, being present to all that is scarey in life.  living aint easy, neither is life, it's all ups and downs.  gotta find balance, it's the only way to feel a sense of control but no matter what it's all about finding the flow.  people do it in all different ways, i'm just try to do it straight forward.  what can i say, i'm a ski bum

Drink Drunk Living Life

let's drink wine tonight for no other reason then to be drunk.

pull that cork and make it pop, let the world hear that tonight we are letting it all out.  pour the wine, pulling the bottle high above the glass so that the wine falls through the air.  let it make a splash.  let it stain the earth around us.  let them know we came to drink; drink it all in.

the aroma of the juice fills the air if you are present to smell it.  the crimson sparkles in the light if you are there to see it.  And the taste of the wine is mighty fine should you drink it.  this is living, present to all the senses, present to the moment, living in the present, drunk on life.

i see, swirl, sip, and spit.  happily make a mess of it all.  popping another cork we do it all again.  another bottle summons more friends to the party.  tonight we drink wine for no other reason then to feel the intoxication of life.

Home in the Mountains

humbled, i celebrate this solstice alone. the half moon over head lights the winter wilderness around me.  it's not the end of the world, it is just the beginning of a new life for me.

my walk in the woods became a walk down memory lane. retracing big steps in my life i look toward the direction they where going. finding them there in the future, my present, i realize the events in one's life takes you where you are going, it is up to you to make your intentions clear.

i am on the path that i want, i've created the world we had planned.  i am here now enjoying meditating in nature, on this the longest night of the year.  what happened to that old life i wonder now that i live on the other side of the transitioning moon.  i guess it is not for me to know anymore

i put down fresh tracks in the snow, these mountains are my home

Are We - Love Drink Wine

instantly we are connected but are we.  i sat with family tonight, days like today make you want to do that.  one more hug.  it was there in the presidents face, speaking to the nation he was thinking of his own daughters and wondering what is this world coming to.  how has it become this disconnected that a day like today can happen.  a "news person's" words made me think, you wouldn't expect it to happen in this type of community.

isn't america the wealthiest nation on the planet, i'm in the mountains and I discussed wine with my brother who lives in the bay what wine to drink tonight. after a shitty day like today you want something beautiful to drink.  he and his wife shared a fine bottle, a great value pick-up. a wine we once found at a gas station on the way to a husky tailgate so it hold extra meaning to us.  but the ridiculousness of a wine debate only feeds the image of this nations wealth.

if I was drinking it would be a bottle of la spinetta vigneto starderi barbaresco 2004, the last in my collection but who cares share the love.  I opened the big rhino, leaving it on the counter.  it is like a cut flower now, over time it will open and enough friends will pass that it will be appreciated. a beautiful wine like this is to be enjoyed, it must be allowed to breath for it to reach it's full potential.  wine, again we are a nation of wealth we can connect millions of miles away or with a neighbor next door.  we can sit down with family via video screen, just chat.  when i describe a wine and you drink it in, we are connected instantly aren't we.

connection is that easy isn't it.  we talk wine across the country, allow ourselves a moment to take a drink. inhale, we pause. those that chose not to take of the sacrament are no different then we.  connected enough if we all pause long enough for the moment to drink.  in that time think not of self, think not of fear, think not of other we all belong here. just enjoy, push your love out. can't you feel their is plenty of room.  no, is it too much not enough something just doesn't feel right, let's talk.  i'm willing to take the time to connect instantly, are we.

share a hug - i'm pausing to drink

Just Numbers, Just Life, Be Present - Drink Wine

one two, one two, one two, we march toward the end.  they say it happens (the end) this coming two one, shortest day of the year. switch up the beat and people are thrown off I guess.

but is the different beat really the end of all things or is it just the start of something new.  half full, half empty is the on going debate when people see the glass.  I like to think it's just half enjoyed which means we are nowhere near the end.  we are just currently in the process of loving life.  neither there or there but here, in the present, a tough place for most people to be.  admittedly i don't like to be here alone, the present seems so much more fulfilling when we have someone to share it with. it's a gift to share, the present.

here, i'll give it to you to enjoy. my present has a little more wine to consume. 12 12 12 the numbers are here, be present to it and enjoy.  add it together three, three, three or call it 9, series of twelve is how some see it. whatever it is to you let it be that but be it, live it, find your joy.  take another sip and drop the glass past just half cause it's here for you, my present (or is it yours).  breath it in, taste the lingering finish, let it warm you from the inside out, get drunk off it if you'd like, it's just life.  it is to be lived not thought of as numbers.  one two one two one two, call it a day of 3 twelves.  I see cases of wine but what matters is the beat goes on. 12-12-12...

one more sip i'll refill your glass we have time and a little more wine, this is life so drink it in

Dream - I'm Dreaming

i'm dreaming, ...a soundtrack lifts my soul as I float. downhill through the trees, I'm a ball of white. it is beautiful.  my excitement wakes me. opening one lazy eye the room is still dark, out of focus.  shutting my eye I breath deep, tomorrow will wait I'm off to another dream

she is on the beach.  it warms me to know she is there.  I'm in the water playing in the waves.  giving in to the sea my body flows, relaxed.  I dive, I surf, I splash, now and then I glance over to admire her, stretched out basking in the sun, she is beautiful.  the joy of her closeness wakes me.  my jaw hangs heavy, a touch of drool escapes the right corner of my mouth.  whipping my lip I roll over retuning to sleep, I'm dreaming

in the city now, I'm walking in the rain.  crowds of people push past, heads down they choose not to see me.  headphones in I rock my tunes as I step onto a crowded bus.  packed together we travel, each to our own beat.  at every stop dreary souls join as discourage ones leave.  where are we going I wonder... surely my alarm will soon wake me but for now I remain asleep  

What Do You Want - I Want To Heal

what more do they want from me, you've taken it all.  beat to the ground i pick myself backup again.  i've felt this mistake, i've know it when it was my fault and i've seen when it was just the percentages catching back up, you know its gonna happen so busted i pick myself back up ...once again

damn it hurts, i'm getting tired.  i getting old they like to remind me.  not the lovers just the haters.  lovers remind me age is just a number its what we feel inside that matters.  smile, let's breath that pain away together.  practicality reminds you numbers & percent and basic math all exist as does time.  broken again you know their still remains time.

some say the end is near, just the haters you think but to them I say true.  as near is the end as is the closeness of a new beginning.  broken now, I still remember the feeling of health.  good feeling taken from me, I did not forget what it was to have just because I now know the terror of not having.  I still side with the lovers, even when wrong it believe we can all eventually get it right.  I get back up

what more do you want from me though.  because I love life I continue to do what I do.  look for yourself, I can only show you my way. understand, if you continue to take from me you can only obtain so much.  I am broken but continue to heal

Getting Old - Drinking 40 year old Tawny

i'm drinking port and feeling old, i should be enjoying whiskey.  my arm is in a sling, the result of a fall this morning. unable to finish the day on skis, it is beginning to sink in that i'll also miss the coming storm.  I need another gulp of port.  suddenly my heart hurts more than my shoulder.

having turned thirty-nine two days prior, age has been on my mind lately.  needing help getting dressed and undressed, only able to type with one hand and feeling cranky because i'm sore has old age starring back at me when I look in the mirror.  have another drink old man... cheers

as i sip this time both my nose and my palate are greeted with impressions of nutmeg, roasted coffee and a joyful nuttiness. my mind lingers on the wine´s rich, intense, voluptuous, almost viscous texture, culminates in a finish of incredible length.  this wine still has room to grow but it drinks well now.  glancing at the label the number 40 stands out.  smiling i take another drink, this one to numb my shoulder.  I aint old yet.

"fine wine," a voice whispers in my ear, "fine wine."  we're just getting better with age