where on each others team - Gruet Blanc de Blanc

On a day like to day, the day before we celebrate our ancestors, I reflect with the rest of the world celebrate life.  in a reflection and through an exploration of self, we play, and dance the dance of dark or light. Happy Halloween.  The dark months of celebration are upon us.  Winter is almost here.

How do you costume you on this day of experimental faces.  Me, I seldom do.  Yet I enjoy the extravagance of others.  Be that slutty cat if you want or be that naughty witch.  Try to fool us as that unlikely super hero.  (trust me to tight and false muscles is not fooling anyone but we love your freedom with it.)  Feel what you want to feel on this night.  Express what you choose to express.  Who am I to judge.

This day can get dark.  In fact, not long ago I felt a ghost and then told her story.  It got Dark, scary and a sad feeling lingered but then we remembered flowers... bubles, aromas of green apples, lemon zest, honeysuckle, and tropical fruit. The light entered back in to the story.

I choice the light, I like to celebrate.  Playfull I prefer the story has a Champagne ending.  Soft on the front of the palate with nice lingering acidity on the finish. Flavors of fresh green apple and pineapple with great structure from top to bottom. We drink Gruet Blanc de Blanc and play flip the script.  Its time to dance

Visions of the Black Wolf - Cos Nero di Lupo

even with the expanse of infinite distance some moments, so perfect, happen in a way that can only be experienced as magic.

Southern Cross is blasting from the speaker.  above the music I'm popping the cork on a bottle of Cos wine.  soon I will be lost in Sicily. And with a sip I am back...

Tasting the wine. Recalling the grape. Imagining the conditions in the vineyard. Feeling the soil, the wind the sun I am there again. recalling friends.  friends there that play water polo, friend here they should know. friends here you should know that are currently vacationing there, enjoying a honeymoon.  millions of thoughts return from that taste of fermented grape juice in a glass.

I am everywhere in the moment lost in the grape...thoughts.  my ramblings... Is it the taste, is it the alcohol, is it the wine maker, is it the vineyard or maybe its just the dreamy music that transport to a Mediterranean sea bound adventure.

I am relaxed again.  writing.  Enjoying thoughts on wine, grapethoughts. feel free to share your thoughts of black wolf with me, no need to leave me drinking alone. I thinks it's a great wine. #GoDawgs    

Fear, Lothing and the NFL - any wine

I should be clinking glasses and saying cheers, football is back and thus the nation has ample reasons to celebrate or commiserate. It all depends on which side of the fantasy argument you find yourself on.  A large portion of the country is involved in fantasy in some way. The numbers might seem staggering.

I however am lost in my own numbers.  Heavily burdened with running backs, no TE and a sub-par producer at the QB position it is going to be tricky to take this team to the playoffs.  I really should get more involved with managing this team. For the second year in a row auto-draft screwed me.  I shouldn't be complaining, in truth, I probably screwed myself.

I'm just nervous as the new season of fantasy is upon us.  New players, new teams, new season.  Really what makes me nervous about my fantasy team is the thought of loosing.  With so many new people into fantasy, even our league has been altered.  For the first season in the history of your league their is a woman among us.  The macho me takes a drink of wine... He doesn't want to lose to a girl.

in to the void - no wine

headphones on, the rest of the world is tuned out. We write
i am a creator.  by telling more story I take charge of my world.  Un-empowered, I don't always enjoy the story others write for me.  then again, I don't always enjoy the story I write for myself but at least on know that story comes from truth.  my story has the best interests in mind for those around me.

My story, sometimes painful, full of lost and missed opportunities, is a story of love.  A story of real life, a story of a quest for love and freedom.  You might say the story you hear me tell is about life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, a story of the American Dream.  I would say that dream is a lie.

Others will have you believe in the story of an American dream.  I will tell you that a story not worth listening to.  I would have you listen to the story of your creator, of your unalienable rights to living, loving and perusing those precious moments that connect you to the planet and the world around you.  The moments that take you to a deeper understanding of what it is to be a good human; full of love, understanding, grace and the awe of beauty created for us.  All of it, a shared imagined world for our enjoyment.

Out of the flow, I forget these truths.  I hear the story being told by small minded people.  I fear what has become of us when this is the story we choose to share.  It is dangerous to slave at work chasing an impossible dream.  Give yourself permission to live in a world of your creating.

I write my story down, behind the protection of head phones so I can focus on the power of the music as I conjure up my story.  I'm tell it, I'm finally back to writing. my inspiring story of life, or so they tell me.  I've taken Liberty they say, to follow the beat of a different drummer.  And from my failures to my successes it has always be for the pursuit of happiness readers of my story will note.  They'll tell you it is the american dream, that I've taken advantage of my birth right.

It's just my story that I'm hear to tell you.  Not a dream, nor a reality but rather my story.  Free for you to believe, dream, share or disregard.  It is my story.  Of it, I am the creator.  Know that it is meant to entertain and connect us because in my story I am here to empower you and from my experience the best way to keep your attention while I empower you is to entertain.   so welcome to my story, I hope you enjoy...

Power in the Words - Leonetti Cellars Merlot 2006

their is power in words.  I denied that as a child not wanting to believe their magic had control over me.  I didn't want to say 'em right, i didn't have the patience to figure out how to spell 'em, i just used them to be heard.

I understand their magic now, words. Their agree on meaning creates the power. a language of communal perception is created.  Words therefore have the magic power of defining our reality. So why not take the power of words seriously.

I tell you the wine I'm drinking, Leonetti Cellar Merlot 2006, is a bright, aromatic, vivid wine opening with a bowlful of berries and cherries.  Despite its youth opening, the flavors persist for a remarkably long finish gives you a sense that you know what I'm experiencing.  it might make you curious to try the wine.  My words defiantly effected your thought.  

Their in lies the power, a subtle magic.  Because words shape our communal reality, how I shape the message works on molding your world.  Push on you enough with my words I can create action in your life.

words have power I remind you as I cast this spell  

Getting Old School and Thoughts For My Future

15 years ago would have liked to been where I am sitting right now.  from this vantage, chilling in the sun, enjoying the beverage of my choice.  Instead I was in Vegas.  Beverage of choice in hand, I'm was watching screens when I realized they just blew up the Kingdom.  Years earlier I partied with UCLA after they own that Final Four in that building.

In Vegas, on this day, my beats on tournament games were making money.  Like a baller a give my server a five dollar chip for every free drink.  It felt good in the moment, but then I saw the building come down on a replay.  I should have been there but I had to work.  Who's the baller now I remember thinking as I processed the fact the Kingdom was now gone and like thousands of trees in the woods I wasn't there to hear it make a noise, only memory reminds me it happened.

Back on the hill in the present tense I wonder who is the baller, and what does that mean.  Grown up should I even use that language now.  I need a new job is what I'm thinking now.  Two stadiums now stand where once their was just one.  Fact relives it happened but memory is what makes the moment real.  I can see images in reply but I wasn't there.  I have to admit sometimes I wonder what is real.

What is real in the now, my bracket is busted.  I'm drinking a merlot and not really enjoying it.  Baller his is not me, or perhaps he is.  Tucked in this beautiful moment looking out on the mountains, the sound, Seattle; I'm basking in the sun.  Enjoying this moment on my terms creating a memory.

Who I am, The world I am manifesting? The power of this day for me is wrapped in an image.  I guess I'm left to see if the rest of the universe can see it.  

A Pause For Reflection - Raaai Nieerrr BEER

Who have I become?

I'm standing outside a reopened restaurant, waiting for an once mighty sandwich that i fear now is only an over priced shell of it's former glory. My conversation is with a guy from Boston about a football game that also didn't end well upon revisiting it.  I'm actively breaking the law as I stand on the streets of Seattle drinking a beer.

Who have I become?

where are the insightful tales of wine consumption full of my opinions and tasting notes.  a refined pompous alcoholic is how i once summed up my writing style.  sometimes incoherent blabber, often times poorly spelled and questionable grammar but always lucidly edgy, sprinkled with tidbits of information.  Drunk on wine I remained functional.  Now, I hardly write.  It's been since last summer that I penned my last confession.

Tonight as I await my dinner I live in the past, not caring as I drink my beer.

gone is the forward motion of my story.  Gone is the quest to find pleasant new tastes.  GONE is my interest of how things should be, I now talk of how they once were.  How things use to be better.  I settle for the reliable staleness of a Rainier in a tall can.

I look like a hipster city dweller.  I sound like a grumpy old man.  I've lost my taste for taste, instead relying on the feel of seeming ironic.  Grabbing my sandwich and finishing my beer I walk towards home, it is time for a long look in the mirror. 

Protect the Dinner Table - A Toast with German Wine

I'm not going to lie, I never drank German bubbles before but mixed with fresh peach juice how bad could it be.  At least that was my original thinking when I decided to hand my home guests bellinis to drink.  An Italian classic, perfect for this warm summer night.  Sweet and bubbly and sticky the drink perhaps wasn't the best choice for the new table.

I wasn't interested in having a table but my wife thought it proper.  When my sister's table needed a new home how could I say no. 

It is a beautiful sturdy table.  Compact enough for the two of us but able to grow with the needs of the family.  It's a great antique table. Recently refinished, the wood sparklers.  At first glance it's hard to see the generations of space that has been shared around that table. 

Watching as my guest interacted with the table, the tipsy scattering of champagne bottle and sticky juice, the disregard for coasters it all became clear.  I had taken on a table.  New to German sparkling wine wasn't the only recent change in my life, I had a table to tend to.

12 months... has it all changed

what was i drinking last night, I don't know.  it was wine.  it was sweet. it bubbled some.  it felt bright in the mouth.  it helped me giggle in these crazy crazy times.

ignoring the problems of the world, absorbed in self, i felt happy

taking work less serious was a joy
being less concerned with what people thought and more engaged with who people are was a relief.

Detached from the struggles around me i lived in a world of bliss.  which seems to be a world far different then the one most of us choose to occupy.  Opening my eyes to the realities of it all perhaps my detachment is part of the problem.

Oil Spills, Dirty Water, Polluted Oceans, a changing climate, drought... but who can focus on these troubles in the face of wars, wars and more WARS.

Sobering, the thoughts of today make the joys of tomorrow a distant idea.  12 months away from it all in bliss.  I need to get back to writing, it seems their is something out there we are all forgetting

all we are saying is Give PEACE a Chance

i agree something needs to be done.  sitting back and playing defense does not work in a post 9-11 world.  the bush doctrine, "i am the decider", set the tone.  it's an up tempo, in your face world.  hit first, get the attention of others by being unpredictable and outrageous.  force people to pay attention to you by not letting them know what craziness could happen next.  it keeps them off balance allowing you to always remain one step ahead.  it will take a new pearl harbor type of event, that has been the thinking of this new american century.  crazy force beads fear and mistrust.  hhmmm not the world i want to live in.

What has happened to get us here?  before more missiles are fired can we pause to think.

"a city on a hill", is that not how we see America.  is that not how we lead.  The secretary of war transformed to the Secretary of Defense because we don't believe in sounding like the aggressor.  what has happened to Our constitutional government, once it was the model that inspired new democracies to grow.  have we lost faith in ourselves to create good in the world rather than just fight trouble.  

i agree something needs to be done. sitting back and playing defense does not work.  we need to be bold and keep them off balance.  i say let's evolve this game once more.  let us rename the secretary of defense to the Secretary of Peace.  all the same tools remain, but in this post 911 world, actively creating peace is just a better use of resources.

Beat it, Just Beat it - Wine not War

the drums are beating again.  it agonizes me to here them, a pounding in my head.  soon the saber rattling will begin, a shaking of my nerves.  once more our country is pushing towards war.  why?  we are told, as we are always told, that war is for a good reason but is it? ...is it ever good to go to war.

they told us once that like dominoes, if we don't fight this war here and now, bad people would take over the world.  another time we were told that bad people had invaded a little country and now innocent people, many of them children were being killed.  we had to fight a war for their well being.  another time a man, a bad man, was causing harm around the world from his fortress built inside a cave.  only invade a country and begin a war would bring that man to justice.  more recently they told us a bad man had gathered dangerous weapons.  we had to start a war with him to prevent his from using those weapon.  in summation these stories sound funny but at the time the treats seemed real.  in truth each has been proven to be a half truths at best but for the most part a blatant lie.

now we are being told that syria, a member of the axis of evil, is using chemical weapons on it's rebellious people.  our government is telling us we must supply arms to this civil war so the rebels can fight back.  once our supplies flow in it becomes only a matter of time that we send more support.  Meanwhile, our claims of the use of illegal weapons is being doubted.  in the past i'd shake my fist and proclaim "how dare they doubt the USofA we're here to make the world a better place."  a beckon on a hill, a guiding light of democracy the ideals of our founding fathers.

putting the paper down i do not shake my fist, rather i pick up a glass of wine, sipping it i hold my head.  so many lies, cost so many lives.  we know this but still the beat goes on.  the saber rattling, the beating of the drum,  the call goes out once more.  we are on the brink of war

Turn out the Lights & Light a Candle

you gotta get the candles just perfect if you're trying to set the mood.  light, is a powerful thing in our world.  it's one of the little things that we forget, light.  right there in front of our face, we take it for granted and fail to understand how it effects our day.

i try to remind myself of these things, the little details, things illuminated by the light.  i take a walk in the sun.  i put on music, light candles and meditate.  i build a bonfire and watch life gather.  light, once lit, every time renews the promise of something new to see.  if you know how to see details.

often hidden, you find them if you look in dark places.  places you tend to overlook because life moves so fast.  we take some much for granted. walking the well worn paths of life, who really needs light.  turn 'em off, I can sleepwalk this shit.  And many do.  "we can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark.  the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light."  we need to open out eyes, be aware

it takes a balance.  bathed in too much light it all washes out.  shadow can give contrast, definintion, a quieter space for contemplating all that is going on in the light.  dark, shadow, light, all convey a different mood in the same space.  thus i return to candles.  get them just perfect, they illuminate me to new thinking.  smiling, i enjoy the light.

I bet My Parents could kickthereass - Strongest Couple

Trophies aside "The Strongest Couple You'll Ever Meet" is a bold statement.  say something like that and you better understand the words you are invoking or in this world of hype that we've created has everything lost meaning.


I intend to live a long time, like wine I'd argue i've been getting better with age.  but you should ask around, I've made a lot of friends over the years.  And i'll make many more.  those that know me would likely agree, i'm finally gaining wisdom.  with that base of friends (and growing) one would think that following the laws of six degrees I could meet quite a few strong couples over the years.  especially if i put my mind to it.  so Ever is a pretty out there statement, don't you think.

Strongest is really gets to me too.  on who's terms.  the Olympic games were created to get to the bottom of that, and look amount of events it takes to quantify strongest.  In my opinion the decathlon is the best event but that's beside the point.  the point is strength can be measured in so many ways.

I look at heart. thus the meaning of Couple is an important word when we consider heart.  cuz who can think of heart and not consider love.  Love of what your doing, love of who you're with, Love, who's got heart.

I believe in the strength of this couple.  to help each other create such celebrated bodies demonstrates a commitment to a partner.  furthermore, I can only imagine the feats of strength that may go on in the bed room.  however, the flesh, the body, this is such a trivial way to measure a coupling.  endurance, an ability to adapt while remaining together, a willingness to push past the inevitable obstacles of life, commitment to a bond,  this is the strength i look for in a strong coupling.  I'm just saying "strongest" coupled with "ever" is over hyped with little true meaning.   

People let's put meaning back into our lives. 

Mexican Daze - Modelo

cerveza not wine is today's drink of choice.  it is hot out, and this is the mexican desert so i drink beer and my choice is modelo. 

a dog friend and i are sitting at the waters edge.  we're not really on beach but it more a small cove that fisherman use to launch their boats.  it is soft sand, warm to the touch.  i'm sitting on the sand, leaning up again one of the fishing boats, relaxing, writing.  the dog and i are working on polishing off a six pack of beer and a bag of chips.  he's a stray and i'm a foreigner.  both considered outsider in this land, we've found eachother, in that we've found happiness.

starring out at the water it is a vibrant blue green.  so rich in color that it almost looks fake, only the fact that i am actually here makes me know this color is real.  my friend seems to be studying it too.  I wonder what goes through a dogs head as he takes in our shared ocean view;  i'm thinking about work.  two days from now i'll be back home, back to work, back to drinking wine in my temperate climate.  I give the my friend a few more chips and a sip of beer to wash it down.  patting his head i go back to staring out across the water toward the horizon.

we are on our second to last modelo, the bag of ships mostly crumbs.  taking another swig of beer, i rub my buddies back.  relaxed he lays his head down.  i lean deeper again the boat (at least i attempt to) as i relax as well.  tonight i'll enjoy fish tacos, my dog friend i'm sure has a hustle in mind, such is the life of a stray.  could i survive here i wonder.  as if to reassure me the dog licks at my hand.  i pour him the rest of the beer.

the sun is beginning to hang low.  my dog and i have one last beer to share.

Write Wrong Drink Right

"you write it for me!"  i've taken a stern tone with the freshly opened bottle of wine.  looking at it crossly, i'm not paying attention to the label.  it's a red, perhaps a cab or maybe a merlot.  at second sip it's likely that affordable cab/merlot i grabbed off the shelf a few weeks back.  "for the price i'm sure it's drinkable", i thought out loud.  if it blows me away i can always note the label later.

weeks removed from that harmless purchase, i'm now talking with the once ignored bottle.  in truth the exchange of words is more the soliloquy of a desperate writer who lost his voice.  so I talk with a bottle, "you wirte it for me." i repeat.

inspiration has left me. my muse gone, i search for her in the most cliche places.  in a bottle (one must wonder) how drunk of me to look for a genie in a bottle.  my words are best when they resonate with the divine, no trite genie.  I should get down with a goddess.  Pondering the thought of get'n down, i enjoy the rest of the nameless cab/merlot.

after the bottle it's back to work.  this life doesn't write itself

Don't Cut It Out - Love It Out

i'm sitting in the barber's chair getting my hair cut.  outside the window i see him, the last man to threaten my life.  he did it on a few occasions but never scared my.  instead i felt sorry for him, such a small way to live.  fearful.

"go ahead shot me."  i recall the words leaving my lips.  an AR15 pointed at the back of my head.  i didn't need to turn around, i knew he wouldn't pull the trigger.  i believe he's smarter than that; not much but smart enough to know spilling my brains all over his kitchen in front of his wife and daughters would be a mess he couldn't easily cleanup.  violence solves nothing.

i've always joked that conflict between men is always about a girl, sadly so true.  in this case it was about his daughter.  his last words to me were if i ever spoke to her again he'd hurt me in ways that would likely put him in jail.  unblemished, i enjoy the feel of a straight razor against my skin, a clean shave.  he, the threatener is unjailed walking the street just outside the window.  i see him, he acts like i doesn't see me but we did, see each other for an awkward moment.  i wonder if his heart skipped a beat, if his blood began to boil, if he regrets his words, if he even knows his daughter spoke to me two day back.

he's not going to kill me, much less even touch me.  yet i'm left feels sadness.  raised by fear, anger and threats i can't help but feel for his daughter's inability to find and hold onto love.   touched by love, i care for his daughter, i hope she finds what she wants in life.  we both know it aint me.

returning to his truck with a burger to go, he passes the window once more avoiding a glance in my direction.  this cut coming to an end the barber asks, "so how does it feel?"  running my fingers threw my hair i reply, "love it"  

be calm again - yoga

i came back to work and it looked like i was on vacation, i was a mess.  I needed to relax, again.

i'd been to serious was the story i heard.  no longer full time fun i was serious guy at the party.  try this wine i'd say in my head but out of my mouth spewed the boardom of vintage and date, not to mention the aroma of it all, it all just silly opition.  i'd stopped living the joy from the taste of life.  my story got in the way of flow, i lost my muse so i got sloppy.  I made the mistake of getting serious rather than finding balance.  it got edgy for a while the taste of it, life.  and friends helped me talk it out and calm down.  we skied.

at night we'd drink wine, sometimes beer maybe whiskey.  it didn't matter we were in MONTANA not utah, not vail, not in that state called wyoming.  we skied at big sky, i'll remember it as a sunny resort, it recharged my batteries, i returned with a glow.  i was unbeatable again but i didn't care to win, not today.  leave it a mess write a post call it work, clean the room maybe or just go to bed.  i need to relax  drink some wine.

i need yoga

Don't Rush, Drink It All In - Then Enjoy

my mother says to me, "don't rush it."
she reminds me, "there's plenty of time."

mothers opinions coming from love, she just wants the best for me.  she gets sad when I'm sad, she wants to kiss any owie and make it better.  she knows it doesn't changes things but still she is always willing to share a hug.  my mother has always just wanted me to explore and find happiness.  i'm lucky to have such a great mother.  she knows me well

i do rush.  when I want something i can be impatient with time.  i tend to forget their is plenty in the world, especially if you go a little slower and pay attention to all the blessings.  i like to get after it, charge toward me goal and take what i believe to be mine.  it makes me feel like and man yet most times i'm such a boy. 

time still for plenty of growing in my life.  i know what i want, the seeds are planted and my intentions are true, good, honest.  with the warmth of love those seeds will surely grow.  a worthy wine takes time, it can't be rushed, even after it is poured into the glass it is best to pause and appreciate it before slugging it down.  see, swirl, sip, enjoy...

i'm listening mom

What's Your Buzz, Text Me

hard lives we tend to leave.  each of us has places to be so how is it that we ever meet. it is brief moments that bring us together.  just shoot me a text.

i'm drinking red wine fierce tonight, with reckless abandon we polish off another bottle.  she is not with me so i let her know, i'm thinking of you, i wish you were here, i need less wine in my glass (although if i must drink the house red aint bad).  "drunk last night, drunk the night before, feeling drunk again what is the way to your door?"

three smiley faces is the reply text.  upon receiving it I smile.

connected in thought now, i'm excited.  reality, i'm drunk and don't know the way to here door.  the wine is slowing my thought.  i look for a good place to settle down, slumber.  I think of her text to me ...smile smile smile.  drifting off to sleep it's true, my life isn't hard.  to see you just have to find me in the moment

Why Love, What Love, Share with Me

"what do i know of love" she asks...  what words just left my mouth, i need to think.  one moment i was enjoy the buzz of a beautiful wine and the next a question hangs heavy about a seriousness i'm not prepared to consider at this moment.  drunk on rosa regale i'm in no mood for seriousness.  I take another drink but as I lower my glass i see she still looks at me quizzically.  this is serious.  i'm not going to think about why the question was ask, i'm going to go with the flow.  from head to mouth the thoughts of my heart pour out.

i know little of love but i know i've felt it.  Love is wonderful, magical and it hurts.  I've been broken by love.  left for dead, eventually i got back up looking for more, helped to my feet by the love of others.  the feeling of love is to great to ignore.  the beauty of love is that it's a gift to be shared.  love alone is not love at all, love that is shared moves mountains.

in love i feel three times larger and yet i don't know why.  love drives me to do things and i am able to do them because love fuels me.  away from my love i'm free to experience the world yet nothing is as enjoyable as my love so i always return.  life is lonely without love.  i know so little about love in fact that i tend to smother my lover, wanting so much to be with love I stifle the life in love.  you gotta let love grow, love needs space so it can get bigger.  i love love and fear love, love scares me but that is Love

at least that is what i know, because i felt it.