Friday, August 31, 2012

Blue Moon - Rare You Think

once in a blue moon, is how the saying goes.  a rare moment, a powerful time in the heavens, something you don't see everyday, a moment that you should pay attention to.  given this type of thinking, the event of a blue moon becomes an important moment in time, something the spell-casting farmer in me knows is a great time for magic.

alone, in my quiet, I'm allowed time to think, meditate.  a world of my own creating in my head.  my wants and desires arise in this dream state.  as do my pains and hurts.  fear creeps into these thoughts too. usually I would call it stress, choosing to suppress it with a special bottle (or two) of wine.  here though, in the power of this moment, I choose clarity.  I face my fears.  scary at first until I learn to live with my past.  each story a little demons needing to be put to bed. they are scary too until I learn to meet them and thus myself with love.  it is, after all my past, why not love it, only I understand the reality of it. especially here, in this power of this moment inside my head, in the world of my own creating, this meditative space.

i decide fear is no longer welcome here, in this world.  neither is laziness, shame, self-doubt, guilt and any of the unruly friends fear might try to bring along to try to hold me back.  I take my power back from fear, rather than being a slave to it, I challenge fear to teach me it's secrets.  fear becomes a co-creator in my greatest adventures.

At peace with my past I can live in my present towards a future of my creating.  this is a meditation that begins tonight, but it need not stay in my head.  I can learn to live it, speak it, share it with those around me.  the magic of tonight shows me the possibility of this reality.

for the rest of tonight I choose to remain alone.  I have a blue moon to enjoy  

Monday, August 27, 2012

One, Sacred One - Wine

wine sure has done a number on my life.  once I got serious about the juice the juice began transforming me.  I started writing about it.  then came to realize I was just writing about me. 

it starts innocently, stupid stories about drinking a bottle of wine. drunk, your own thoughts seem important enough to write down.  "who care's" i'd think, "no one is going to read this shit." and then she does but by then I don't care.

I started to write, drink, think, and drink some more wine.  it was work but I had to write so I drank.  wine spoke to me about life, rhythm, flow, love.  all seemed so symmetrical in my world, a drank and enjoyed  ...i began to chase labels.  you'd see one, you'd hear about one or read about another but some how some way a label would catch my attention so I'd have to have it, so I would. I would just make it happen.  some took longer than others but eventually I learned to get whatever it was a wanted.  thankfully, I've since learned to make sober choices about what I need in life

wine and I have done some crazy shit.  the story we've started is an interesting one, at least it is to me.  from bum, to farmer, to corsair to what I've become.  all just stories to you the reader, yet epic tales to those that shared them with me.  drunk on divine juice you tend to meet characters.  through them I found it easy to become whatever I wanted to be. wine having given me the power to have whatever I wanted, I found myself in an interesting predicament.  I could shape the world, if only I could find my authentic voice.  that much power is intoxicating, so you have to stay true to yourself.  those are my thoughts at least, as I tell them.

but no one reads them and I don't care who does anyway.  I just hope my kids do cause I've heard tales of them before they were born.  I wonder how much our stories will match-up.  that's all it is in life, belief

wine sure has done a number on me, a sacred one

Saturday, August 25, 2012

Where is She, my Fine Glass of Wine

it's been awhile since I enjoyed a wine of unique substance.  bottles with pretty labels I've had plenty.  it feels like popular wines are all I drink these days, something to impress the guests.  I've splurged and indulged in a few fancy bottles.  worth every penny of course but generally not a wine one would want to imbibe day after day after day.  instead I'm left feeling my life has become a journey of basic juice.  from one bottle to the next, I enjoy what I can but can't find that beauty I'm really looking for.  where is she, the wine I seek.

a mountain of glass in the recycling bin reminds me that my search has not been a lack of trying.  just not lucky enough to find what I'm looking for I guess.  I pick up bottles on a daily basis, something about them catches my eye and I want to make that bottle mine, so I do.  some I consume right away, others I wait, hoping that with time the right moment will capture the beauty of wine hidden inside.  instead I find my life has become a series of blessed moments, fun for sure, but nothing of substance.

Please don't misunderstand this rant, my life needn't be defined by a bottle.  Nor is a glass of wine going to make everything suddenly better.  with our without this intoxicating juice I get by just fine. 

still indulgements in life are the spice that makes for living.  I love how wine enhances the a meal. catching the scent of a freshly poured glass can move me to smile.  I can loose myself watch sunlight dance with wine in a glass.  And then the taste, a complex full of character wine will bring all my senses alive.  wordless, a great sip takes me inward as I enjoy the magic.  wine is a special union of human and nature expressed through a drink.  divine is life with wine so I continue to seek another glass.

Sunday, August 05, 2012

Clearing Space - Il Nero di Casanova

I aint gonna carry that.  no way, it's to big, heavy, unessential baggage.
it's easy to speak such truth when planning a hike in the mountains.  only take what you need, because this is your stuff to bare. choose wisely.  it make sense, it all make sense doesn't it, in your head at least.

in life it all makes sense too, what we choose to carry, the baggage from the past we are willing to bare, at least in your head.

sitting with a glass of wine I'm repacking my gear.  I can go lighter