Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Damn It's a Bunch of Bull

It didn't start with ego but ego soon took over.  at first I just wanted to grow stuff.  organic food to eat, a new relationship with the planet, but mostly family.  I wanted to learn to put down roots and raise a healthy family.  these were the goals of the farm.  the more I read, the more I thought the more complex I allowed my vision to become.  soon what I was really thinking about was a new type of economy.  secretly I was challanging some of the foundations of america's version of capitalism.  I wanted to take down the bull.
now in over my head I am lost in the labyrinth, alone.  my ego drove me to obsession, an obsession to take down the bull.  I pushed people away, especially loved one because I thought I was protecting them from the fears I was to face.  Instead, they lost faith, I lost support and then we lost our way.
the bull is still out there, awaiting me in this labyrinth which has me trapped.  my time here has been defeating, I was ready to give up.  Lost however, is no way to go through life.  scary as it has been, time in the isolation has changed me for the better. Today, under a full moon, I let go the past and walk the path to my future...
I pray my love has left a trail of thread to lead me home.

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