Monday, October 17, 2011

Game On Officer, Game On

Apparently if I am not going to ask out a woman, the universe is threatening to force an encounter on me.

From their perspective, I guess I can see what it looked like. After pull my car over suddenly, I jump out with a hatched and run toward the bushes.  They must have been thinking, either I just caused trouble, I'm about to cause trouble or I need to take a piss.  Pick the scenario, this is something these lady cops thought they should look into.  I'm sure how I was dressed had something to do with it.  My stylish form fitting running gear does show off my physique and the bright orange stocking cap I was wearing is sure to catch an eye, but it's my ten dollar shades that I must admit, make me look damn sexy.  Seeing how I was dressed, you could say I was asking for harassment.

"What are you doing over there?" I heard an authoritative voice call over my shoulder.

With an election sign and hatchet in hand I turned to face the cutest little butch officer of the law that I've ever seen.

"is that yours" she barked.

"the sign no, but yeah I work for the guy" I replied as I leaned on the sign, pushing it in by hand.  my eyes focused on checking this officer out.  not my type but she had a good stance. well balanced, defensive and ready to act.  I'm not sure if she'd go for the gun or choose to mace me.  Obviously, she was confident whichever she picked she could have it unbuckled and drawn before I could close the distance between us.  "I'm just trying to get'em back up after the storm." I said taking a couple steps toward her.

"Get that thing away from me!"

I can see I've made her nervous, "what thing?"

"The WEAPON sir." her tone was deadly serious, freezing me in my tracks.

"oh the hatchet." I turn and toss it into the bushes.  Before she can ask the obvious question I answer it for her, "I'm using it as my hammer."

"A pick-axe? Do you see how that can be misconstrued?"

thinking to myself, it's a little hatchet with a rubber protector over the blade, this aint going to hurt you lady.  My answer is humble, "I totally get it officer."

Turning my back, I walk over to retrieve my so called pick-axe.  The officer says something else to me but unimportant my attention is elsewhere.  I notice that all this time there was backup in the police-cruiser.

"Is that your car?" a sexier but equally authoritative voice inquires.

I look over at my car still running, the drive side door open and it is the only car in the entire lot.  "Why, did you run the plates, ...are you trying to look me up?"

"you look like trouble" she smiles, "I might have too."

The things I would say if her girlfriend was not armed and looking over my shoulder.  Instead I look directly into the eyes of the sexy cop inside the vehicle.  As I retrieve my weapon I flash a coy smile.  "Thanks officer." I say before breaking eye contact and return to my car.  Secretly I hope they decide to take me in, I'm a bad man.


DeborahDrake said...

My oh my.

Phill Briscoe said...

I should be so lucky!